Are you struggling to deal with failure?
Struggling with the emotions of missing shots?
Setbacks feel overwhelming.
If that is you.
By the end of this article, you'll be better prepared for the future.
Failure is inevitable.
No task worth chasing is accomplished without facing adversity.
So we have to learn how to cope with it.
First.
A story about me dealing with failure.
14-year-old Jack in his first-ever basketball grand finale.
Beyond excited.
A dream come true.
The game begins.
My first shot missed.
Second shot missed too.
The third shot was the same.
All from 2 meters away from the ring.
I had the worst game of my life.
We lost.
I went 1/20 from the court.
I still remember it.
Tears flowed down the entire car trip.
"I hate that shot, it's too hard."
The self-pity was intense.
I'm grateful in this career-defining moment I had someone to guide me.
Someone to help me lay the foundation for my future.
My mum.
Quite the player in her day. (Played for Australia.)
Coached for years.
Teacher for 30+ years.
She knew exactly how to handle the situation.
If you don't have someone to guide you.
Or want more direction in helping someone.
These lessons below are for you.
Solution based focus
It's easy to point fingers and blame.
Blame others and yourself.
But this doesn't help.
There is only one thing we can control once we have made a mistake.
Find solutions for the problem.
Here are some questions you can reflect on:
How can I move forward more efficiently?
What caused my setback?
Was I properly prepared?
What did I learn from this experience?
What changes do I need to make to my approach?
Most of the time we won't have the answer to these questions.
That’s okay.
Search.
Learn.
Try again.
Build trust in the process
If you don’t trust that you will improve, you will stop trying.
Self-belief plays an important role here.
You will have setbacks.
You will make mistakes.
It is in those moments of self-doubt you are tested.
Will you get back on the horse?
Here are 5 ways to help trust the process:
Focusing on the present, not the future or past.
Setting achievable goals and celebrating them.
Focusing on progression, not perfection.
Surrounding yourself with positive people.
Practice gratitude for what you have and what you have accomplished.
Understanding the value of failing
We will never reach close to our full potential without failure.
Failing is part of the process.
EVERYONE FAILS AT SOME POINT.
Here are examples:
Steven Spielberg: After being rejected from film school multiple times, he went on to become one of the most successful filmmakers in history.
Oprah Winfrey: Oprah was fired from her first job as a television news anchor, but later went on to become a successful media mogul and philanthropist.
J.K. Rowling: Before becoming a bestselling author, J.K. Rowling was unemployed, divorced, and suffering from depression.
Thomas Edison: Edison failed over a thousand times before inventing the successful light bulb.
Michael Jordan: Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, but went on to become a legendary NBA player.
Soichiro Honda: Honda was fired by Toyota and later went on to found Honda, which became one of the largest automobile manufacturers in the world.
Walt Disney: Disney was fired by a newspaper for lacking imagination and later went on to create Disneyland and Disney World.
Colonel Sanders: The founder of KFC was 65 years old and had failed multiple times in different careers before starting the successful fast-food chain.
Compassion for yourself.
Compassion plays a crucial role in helping us bounce back from failures and setbacks.
It allows us to explore areas of improvement without beating ourselves up.
We all make mistakes.
We all fail.
Compounding failure by hating on ourselves will only make matters worse.
Instead.
Practice compassion, kindness, and understanding.
You tried your best with all the knowledge and experience you had. That’s all that matters.
This practice can take time.
Here is what helps me:
Practice gratitude: Focus on how far you’ve come. The current setback will help unlock even more of your potential. Every mistake is a growth opportunity.
Embrace mindfulness: Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings in a nonjudgmental way. Let them be there. Learn about yourself.
Failing sucks.
It hurts.
But our mistakes are not what define us.
It is how we respond.
Find hope in that.
Focus on solutions.
Believe in yourself.
Appreciate how important failing is.
Be kind to yourself.