Damn.
I’m not enough.
I didn’t make the Boomers squad.
Chasing dreams hurt.
But.
This isn’t the first time I’ve failed to reach a goal.
I didn’t make the under-18 state team.
I’ll never forget what the coach said to me.
He looked me dead in the eye.
“You aren’t strong enough to compete at the next level.”
I cried as I had to walk past the team.
Shoulders slumped.
Head low.
My self-worth shot to the floor.
I was furious.
At the coach; yes.
But even angrier at my body.
Whenever I don’t reach a goal.
My mind still blames my body.
I’m not strong enough.
I’m not quick enough.
I’m not big enough.
I’m not good enough.
I’m not enough.
This mindset has created some of my toughest days.
And is a battle I still fight with all the time.
But it's improving.
One step at a time.
Chasing your dream requires failure.
You will make mistakes.
But you can't let the setbacks derail you.
Self-compassion and self-kindness create the resilience to keep pushing.
Let me explain:
Every mistake I make; my mind blames my body.
My self-confidence spirals downwards.
I had to learn how to break the cycle.
First.
Catching myself when I start to harshly self-critic my body.
That’s awareness.
Secondly.
I put my focus into a gratitude practice.
That's action.
"I am grateful my body helped me build my relationships."
"I am grateful for all the games my body has helped me play."
The gratitude practice gives me the resilience to keep on fighting.
It builds me up and breaks the cycle of doubt.
This works for me.
But has taken hours of mental practice.
Find something that works for you.
And stick to it.
The next time you chase a goal and come up short.
Take a moment to be proud of yourself.
Take a moment to be kind to yourself.
"I'm proud of myself for putting myself out there."
"I am enough."
Remember.
Your self-worth isn't tied to results.
You are enough.
Even if you don’t make the team.
You haven’t failed until you quit.
Get back on your feet.
And keep moving forward.
One step at a time.
Thank you for reading.
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